2016 and at last the scrutiny of the SNP government steps up. It’s worried me for some time that the media has been negligent in holding Sturgeon to account –it must be all that bonhomie between her and the reporters, joshing and partying before they file copy that fails to criticise. She has them under her spell, all those even-handed journalists with their self-awareness. Is this why they missed the catastrophic maintenance failure of the Forth Road Bridge? Were they seduced into ignoring falling reading standards in our schools? When will they pick up on the shortcomings in the NHS? Why, oh why do they ignore the comprehensive criticisms from Jackie Baillie? Let’s face it, the SNP is getting away with murder because our media hasn’t got the guts to tackle them head on.

There is no doubt in my mind that if only extremists on the internet stopped using clever hashtags on Twitter the Scottish Press could break through the credibility gap and everybody would listen to them again and wake up to the shambles the Nationalists are making of government. It is surprising that the UK Government has not already intervened with Twitter to complain about the way democracy is being blocked Chinese-style by a coordinated campaign designed to do nothing less than counter the flow of Establishment information.

It is noticeable that political giants like Alan Reid and John Robertson are lending their considerable intellectual clout to the debate by daring, in the face of the clear threat of retaliation, to suggest that people will see the SNP for what they really are – just as soon as they’ve recorded the biggest electoral success in Scottish voting history.

We have to take it seriously when those we have come to rely on for political intelligence, like Magnus Gardham and David Clegg, feel obliged to warn that a hashtag is a bigger threat to democracy than a Tory government and bravely advise that the Nationalists will continue to argue for nothing less than constitutional change.

Proof that the SNP and their supporters have stifled the debate can be seen in the appointment of an anti poverty czar who has been allowed publicly to question the government’s very own policies. This is clearly a device to trick the journalists into thinking ministers might actually want to solve society’s problems.

This is what happens in a one-party state – one party competes with only four others along with a brand new one in what is claimed to be a proportional voting system in a legal ballot with a universal franchise, including teenagers, and the one-party government closes down all news outlets apart from 25 dailies, 13 Sundays, over 100 weeklies, a national broadcaster and only one private tv station which are free to air their own opinions. Little wonder scrutiny has been halted, dissenting voices stilled.

All that is required is the removal of one devilish hashtag so democracy and normality can be restored. If the unaccountable executives of Twitter will not comply then Britain must use its powers of coercion and boycott to have the platform shut down altogether.

It is surely unacceptable for our academics to be prevented from researching and publishing papers on key issues impinging on public policy just because of a single hashtag. No one in a civilised society should live in fear of denunciation. This cancerous seed which has taken root is even leading to political division driving sensible Labour figures such as Ian Smart to commend the Tories to disgusted Scots.

Who knew when we embraced the internet and demanded superfast broadband that we would become its slaves, afraid to say what we think, cowering in the shadow of a Twitter hashtag? When Scotland’s finest journalists can no longer compete, when the public is deaf to their made-up, scoffing, partisan offerings, democracy itself is defeated. We must learn to shun the hashtag and listen instead to Alan Roden, Euan McColm, Lindsay McIntosh and David Torrance as they strive to inform us. Remember how they led us carefully through the dilemmas of the referendum with their legendary insight. Remember too how right they were in predicting so accurately the rise of the Nationalists.

Britain has fought many foes. These islands have long been the cradle and protector of civilised values. We will not, must not, shirk now in the face of a demonic Twitter hashtag. In the name of all we hold dear, in honour of our enduring Establishment debate, I implore you all – buy the newspapers and believe what you read without question. Circulation and reporters’ jobs depend on you. #Happy New Year.

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35 thoughts on “#SNPBAD

  1. Heidstaethefire

    Bateman baaad!

  2. They don’t like it up em Sir!

  3. As a robotic SNP’er whits a hashtag..is it like hash browns or wanny they big watches that Lewis Hamilton wears??

    Enquiring minds…I know very UNROBOTIC would love to know.

    Fanks in anticipation

  4. Newspapers are great for cleaning the Windows,unlike the journalists who contribute to them they don’t leave smears.

  5. Ayup, they are somewhat upset right enough.

    They had it all and pished it up against a wall. Respect, trust, loyalty, decades of near total control of our lives on every level of government and media. Sooooo they’re now shocked, nay outraged, when folk tell them to take a hike, or tae awa an bile their wossiname.

    Mibbies they shouldn’t have lied, manipulated, stolen from or betrayed their electorate/readerships? Just a thought.

    But then they don’t do responsibility, do they? These folk tend to project blame onto others…. like now for instance. They are responsible for their own situation. They are responsible for a great deal of our electorate’s current woes and for this they expect our forgiveness, our continued cash/support and for us to unsee and unlearn what we have seen and learnt of their actions since before Levison and before (fill in parliamentary scandal of choice).

    They’ve earned their toxic reputation and as my auld granny used to say, ‘You’ve made your bed, now lie in it’.

  6. A great read, but you overlooked Tunnocks reaction to events. They’ve removed the Scottish lion from their teacake silver paper wrapper! Now that is real positive action, I know, I know, for every action there is a reaction.

    Tunics Great British Teacake, snigger.

  7. Maybe the fear and loathing of the SNPBad hashtag of the ranting anti-SNP journos and politicians, is because it is a modern-day reminder to them of Rabbie’s admonition to folk such as them – “O wad some power the giftie gie us, Tae see oursels as others see us!!!”

  8. Richard montgomery

    Enjoyed every word , so hilarious that I didn’t want it to end. SUPERB, well done Mr Bateman!!

  9. Didn’t know about the Tunnocks Teacake success but I suppose I should put my new Driving Licence, with prominent Union Jack, in a place of honour in my wallet instead of hiding it under my library card as an embarrassment.

  10. Saramago-esque! as in his wonderful novel, ‘Seeing’ Wonderful! GIRFUY!

  11. #spoton

  12. Steve Asaneilean

    So the ultimate originators and perpetrators of the SNPBad plan now say it’s all threatened by #SNPBad?

    It’s also Kafkaesque really – yet, at the same time, you couldn’t make it up.

    MSM peddles 3 years of crap then tells us we’re to blame for not listening anymore?


  13. smiling vulture

    McTernan , Kezia, Dream on

  14. Nice one Derek, good to start the new year with a loud guffaw, time to start campaigning again, I’m loving this one party state.

  15. A good simple read that explains it well.

    We are going to need more of the same to counteract more of the same in the months/years ahead. The good thing is that every smear, distortion and lie will be counteracted thanks to the brainpower of those who support and promote competent, democratic government as an alternative to Westminster.

    What I find truly unfathomable is the failure of the unionist camp and their media mercenaries to put forward a single coherent, positive argument in favour of the unionist parties in Scotland. They are obsessed with a negative narrative on the one hand and promoting stunningly imbecilic notions of British superiority and wonderfulness on the other.

    I will be very disappointed – and very suspicious of the postal ballot system – if the SNP does not do even better than the polls predict at this time in the Holyrood election. The Scottish electorate just have to be aware that they are being targeted as idiots by the Brits and I expect them to react by voting SNP.

  16. Ochone,ochone, we lament the passing of the age of Giants!
    Reid, Ffoulkes, Darling, McTernan, Wilson(B)—-all gone!
    We are left bereft. Naked in the face of Doom!

    We are on the very verge of ruination! As we dare to spit in the eye of our one true friend.,…………………
    ……..Westminster, which has granted us a veritable, and most generous, pittance in exchange for our utterly useless oil over the last four decades.
    Whatever will we do without them?
    Ochone, ochone,………………

  17. It’s even worse than you fear, Derek. I hear from a source that in 2016, the SNP plans to re-name the Royal Mile the Royal Kilometre!

  18. Fabulous Derek. I can hear cages being rattled as they read your fabulous post. Keep up the good work.


  19. I’d love to see this piece reproduced in full on the front page of The National under the headline #MagnusDryYirEyesMate. I hope they know we’re online and onto them. Trash Twitter? I think they hope someone will switch the Tinternet off full stop. Happy New Year Derek…mair power tae yir e-quill.

  20. Bugger (the Panda)

    Happy New Year from a recovering Panda.

    Keep it up Derek.

    They don’t like it up’em, do they?

    “hashtag is a bigger threat to democracy than a Tory government” Says it all really.

  21. Serious question Derek. Why are you never in the National? Or have I missed you?

  22. Excellent read and great start to 2016! Happy New Year.

  23. love it. derek e-Qill bateman.

  24. kevinparafinlamp

    Heck, those damn Nationalist/Separatist/Independentistas, they’re not going away – anytime soon.
    Damn-right, boy.

    Many generals in this struggle – all the fantastic generals are on our side. We’re winning this.
    Great work, Derek.

  25. Absolutely excellent Derek

  26. This is just another extended example of the tedious, childish and ubiquitous use of ‪#‎SNPBad‬ to close down debate. Please watch this

  27. If you’re not careful you’ll end up one of us raving, brainwashed cybernats.

    Happy New Year to you.

  28. I was completely taken in until I got to “sensible Labour figures such as Ian Smart” and realised it must be an outrageous spoof.

  29. “Political giants like Alan Reid and John Robertson using their political clout……!

    Classic stuff, Derek,more power to your elbow

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